General audiences

I happened to notice, at the end of a commercial for "The Powerpuff Girls Movie," that under the PG rating logo, it said, "non-stop frenetic animated action."

A quick trip to mpaa.org, and it turns out that's the official reason why it got a PG. But it sounds like an advertising slogan. Heck, it should be the advertising slogan for that movie.

Actually, why not go all the way? "Now playing only in theaters, it's 'Non-Stop Frenetic Animated Action: The Movie.' And starting Friday, 'Strong Language, Sexuality, and Brief Drug Content.'"

Service with a smile

I don't know if they do this in every post office, but at the Valley Plaza Station, North Hollywood, California 91606, if you pay with cash, the clerk will always remind you, "Don't forget, we also take credit and debit cards."

I guess it does make some sense to do this if someone's just bought 30 rolls of 1,000 stamps each, plus several of those overpriced phone cards, or something like that. However, I'm not sure if it makes sense to say this to someone who has just, as I did today, paid cash for 40 3-cent stamps (and paid with exact change, no less, including a Sacajawea dollar coin). And considering the amount of time it always takes for a credit or debit card transaction to go through there, combined with the usual length of the line, I think they should do it the other way around and instead remind you, "Don't forget, we also take cash."

But on the good side, the clerks at this post office are friendlier, more competent, and faster-moving than the clerks at the Chandler Station, North Hollywood, California 91601, which also features bulletproof glass separating customers and clerks, and a metered parking lot. Yes, the meters are a mere 5 cents per 12 minutes, nickels cheerfully accepted (insofar as an inanimate electromechanical device can be cheerful), but since someone in line is always trying to mail radioactive waste to Guatemala or something, it's impossible to get in and out of there in under 12 minutes.

You might think bulletproof glass would be problematic in a post office, since part of the normal service provided by post offices involves the transfer of objects in the shape of various rectangular solids. You would be correct. Unfortunately, this doesn't seem to cut down on the length of the line, because people never learn.

But is it early...or late?

During the closing credits of "Who Wants to Be a Millionaire" Thursday night, the ABC voiceover announcer read a promo for the World Cup final, Sunday morning at 6:30 Eastern. Amazing to hear a television network promote programming occurring at that time of the morning. Well, I do have a TV Guide in my collection that has an ad for Fox's Sunday NFL coverage, beginning at 6:00 A.M. Yes, it's the Hawaii edition.

Caught Between the Rails: A Play in One Act

Dramatis personae:
NORMAN MINETA, Secretary of Transportation of a North American country located immediately south of Canada
DAVID GUNN, president of a passenger railroad serving that very same country

Time: Morning, Monday, June 24, 2002
Place: Norman Mineta's office in the capital city

NORMAN MINETA sits behind a desk and is talking into a telephone. Enter DAVID GUNN.

Gunn: Say, about that $200 million loan guarantee we need to keep Amtrak running until October 1st...

Mineta: (to Gunn, indicating chair opposite desk) Hold on a second. (Gunn sits, Mineta speaks into phone) Sure, no problem, Mr. President of United Airlines. You'll definitely be able to get that $1.8 billion loan guarantee. I personally guarantee it, because, as you know, airline travel is the only form of public transportation that should be carrying intercity travelers, as far as I'm concerned....Ha ha, yes. Goodbye. (Hangs up phone)

Gunn: All right, what about that $200 million?

Mineta: Yes, I am prepared to give you a $100 million loan guarantee right now, and all you have to do is immediately shut down all your trains except the Northeast Corridor, which I guess you can keep running until we build those 12 new runways at all the airports in the Northeast.

Gunn: No, as I've explained to you repeatedly for the past couple of weeks, $200 million is the minimum we need to keep the entire system running. We can't just separate out the Northeast Corridor and run it separately for half the money.

Mineta: Oh. That's too bad. Well, we don't really need the Northeast Corridor that much anyway. I'm sure people can drive if they can't get on a plane.

Gunn: But the commuter trains in New Jersey and --

Mineta: They've got tunnels or bridges or something up there, right? See, no problem. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a phone call to make. (Picks up telephone and dials number) Hello, Mr. President of American Airlines? This is Norman Mineta. We just happen to have a couple billion dollars here, and it could have your name on it.

(Exit DAVID GUNN.)

Although this play was based on fact, any resemblance to actual conversations which may or may not have taken place are purely coincidental.

"This could be the start of something big" -- Steve Allen

Yes, I'm a copycat, I know.

Also, it probably would have made more sense to start this on July 1st, thereby starting with a new month, a new week, and probably other new things also. But oh, no, I had a sudden attack of, "Oh, my God, all my friends have blogs now. All of them. Some of them have been doing this for years.

Seriously, I've been thinking about doing this for a while, because I often get bizarre random thoughts stuck in my brain the way most people get song lyrics stuck in theirs, and I want someplace where I can safely let them out. (The random thoughts, not the song lyrics. There is no place to safely let song lyrics out without having to pay royalties.) One of those random thoughts: It's not "at his beckon call," you idiot, it's "at his beck and call."

But the paucity of work at the office today just sealed the deal.