It kills your brain cells and supports terrorism

Scratched into a newly replaced section of sidewalk: "Somke Pot."

Whoo-hoo!

The Tampa Bay Buccaneers won the Super Bowl.

During the years when I was attending their games on a fairly regular basis, I didn't think I would ever be typing those words.

The TV listings saga continues

Today's L.A. Times has both a review of "Penn & Teller: Bullshit!" and an article about the show.

The review doesn't mention the name of the show at all. The article and accompanying sidebar call it just "Penn & Teller," while making an oblique reference to the rest of the title (quoting Penn as saying that it means "Humbug!").

Beating the experts

This week's Sports Illustrated points out that their NFL expert Paul "Dr. Z" Zimmerman, in his picks of the results of NFL games this season, after going 1-1 on the conference finals, has a .602 winning percentage.

In my picks of the results of NFL games this season, I went 2-0 on the conference finals, and I have a .615 winning percentage.

Now, granted, these numbers aren't strictly comparable because I've been picking a winner for every game, which Dr. Z doesn't do. Also, he has to write an article every week in which he explains why he's making the picks he's making, while I can come up with reasons like "because they will be blinded by the ugliness of the Seahawks' uniforms."

Dr. Z's Super Bowl pick: Raiders 24, Bucs 22. My Super Bowl pick: Bucs 21, Raiders 14.

Naming rights and wrongs

The San Diego Padres' new stadium is going to be called Petco Park. This is not to be confused with Safeco Field, the Seattle Mariners' stadium.

Meanwhile, since they changed the name of the company, I predict it's only a matter of time before the San Francisco Giants' stadium, Pacific Bell Park, becomes SBC Park...not to be confused with PNC Park, the Pittsburgh Pirates' stadium.

A musical interlude

Hey, hey, Tampa Bay
The Bucs know how to shine
Hey, hey, Tampa Bay
The Bucs know how to shine
If we're in trouble, that's OK
'Cause we can pull it out
Because we know we're on the top
When we stand up
Stand up and shout
Hey, hey, Tampa Bay
The Bucs know how to shine
Hey, hey, Tampa Bay
The Bucs know how to shine
Give a cheer for the Buccaneers
Go Bucs!
Give a cheer for the Buccaneers
Go Bucs!
Repeat and fade

Things I saw in the paper

A concert ad in L.A. Weekly: "Jonathan Richman with Dengue Fever." Is this the best thing to name a band? Oh, well, it's slightly better than "Jonathan Richman with Smallpox."

And while I was doing the Jumble in the L.A. Times, which puts it in the classified section, I happened to see a "Pet Adoption" ad for a pair of puppies named Cheney and Condoleezza (well, the ad had it spelled "Condelizza," but I knew what they meant). I guess someone was hoping the administration's current high approval ratings would translate to some puppies they're trying to get rid of. But do you have to keep Cheney in a bunker?

And an update: Entertainment Weekly has gone with "Penn & Teller: Bulls---", so it's just like Tribune Media Services' version, but with dashes instead of an ellipsis.

Hey, Penn and Teller, investigate this

There's a new show coming to Showtime called "Penn & Teller: Bullshit!"

Now, you can use that word on a "premium channel" (that's a euphemism for "channel that can use a lot of swear words and show a lot of naked women because you have to pay extra for it"), but magazines and newspapers intended for a general audience try not to use it.

So the dilemma: how to inform viewers of the existence of this show?

My TiVo listings, provided by Tribune Media Services, which provides the same listings to various newspapers around the country, call it "Penn & Teller: Bulls...!"

Meanwhile, the listings in TV Guide call it "Penn & Teller: Bull!" However, earlier in the magazine, on both the inside-front-cover "What to Watch" page and the "Hits & Misses" column, it's referred to as "Penn & Teller: Bull----!"

The pitch

As I was in the supermarket parking lot putting my groceries in my car trunk this afternoon, I was approached by a woman. "Can I take a minute of your time?" she asked.

"You can talk," I said.

"Thank you," she said. "I was at the welfare office on Lankershim...no, wait, not Lankershim. What's the name of that street? Uh, uh, uh...uh...oh, it was (name of street I didn't recognize and don't remember now), I don't know if I'm pronouncing that right. They said they couldn't help me until Friday -- "

Now, at this point, I was finished putting the groceries in the trunk, so I interrupted her and said, "I'm sorry, I have to go."

"Okay, God bless you," she said, and wandered off elsewhere in the parking lot.

Some pig

I just found out that there is an upcoming straight-to-video movie called "Charlotte's Web 2." One would think that that the fact that the title character died at the end of the original movie would be a hindrance to making a sequel, but I guess not.

And I thought E.B. White was spinning in his grave after "Stuart Little," and then "Stuart Little 2"!

Two years at the movies

Just for the record, here are the lists of movies I saw in the theater in 2000 and 2001...

2000

1. The Talented Mr. Ripley (1/1)
2. Man on the Moon (1/3)
3. Magnolia (1/10)
4. Topsy-Turvy (2/6)
5. Wonder Boys (2/28)
6. High Fidelity (4/3)
7. Gladiator (5/22)
8. Hamlet (5/28)
9. Chicken Run (6/26)
10. The Adventures of Rocky & Bullwinkle (7/4)
11. The Original Kings of Comedy (8/21)
12. Almost Famous (9/22)
13. Nurse Betty (9/25)
14. Meet the Parents (10/16)
15. Bedazzled (10/23)
16. Best in Show (10/30)
17. The Legend of Bagger Vance (11/6)
18. How the Grinch Stole Christmas (11/20)

"The Talented Mr. Ripley" and "Almost Famous" were seen as part of a group. All of these movies were seen in the Los Angeles area. I seriously thought about going to see "Dude, Where's My Car?" while I was in Tampa around Christmas, but didn't.

2001

1. State and Main (1/8)
2. Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon (1/27)
3. Sugar and Spice (1/29)
4. Monkeybone (2/23)
5. Memento (4/16)
6. Roof to Roof (4/24)
7. Shrek (5/21)
8. Monty Python and the Holy Grail (6/15)
9. Osmosis Jones (8/20)
10. Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back (8/27)
11. Ghost World (9/10)
12. Zoolander (9/29)
13. Monsters, Inc. (11/9)
14. Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone (11/18)
15. The Royal Tenenbaums (12/17)

"Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon," "Monty Python and the Holy Grail," "Zoolander," "Monsters, Inc.," and "Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone" were all seen with a group. "Roof to Roof" was directed by a (now former) co-worker, and was being shown as part of the Los Angeles International Film Festival. As with 2000, all of these movies were seen in the Los Angeles area.

Doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo

Although I've never said this out loud for fear people would ridicule me, I have long thought that music from old video games should be played occasionally in stadiums during sporting events.

Well, at last, someone read my mind: they were playing music and sound effects from Pac-Man in Giants Stadium during the Jets-Colts playoff game today.

The next step: getting the "game over" music cue from Frogger played in baseball stadiums when a foul ball goes into the stands out of play. Trust me, it would fit perfectly.

It's that funny...I mean friendly

At last, with its new standard-issue license plate, the state of Kentucky is bringing humor back to the highways and byways. Well, I laughed when I saw it, at least.

Yet another happy new year

I watched some of the Outback Bowl this morning. Outback kept delivering Bloomin' Onions to the broadcast booth, and the announcers kept dutifully eating them and talking about them. Just what everyone waking up with a hangover needs to hear, right?

Happy new year (again)

On the West Coast, one has the opportunity to watch the ball drop in Times Square twice: once live on CNN at 9:00, and then again with a tape-delayed Dick Clark on ABC at midnight.

I notice that Dick Clark gets to be inside a studio this year, which is too bad, because the cold New York air is what's been keeping him young all these years.