I'm gonna live forever

If, at some point in the future, you see a TiVo promotional DVD or video featuring various "actual TiVo users" standing in front of an orange background talking about how wonderful TiVo is...well, just remember, they forced me to wear the blue wristband, and those shoes and that shirt don't belong to me, either.

Drawing a blank

As it turns out, if I watch enough of Game Show Network's "Match Game" 30th anniversary marathon, I'll have a dream involving Richard Dawson.

Now, in the dream, he was leading a sparsely attended Comic-Con panel on the early 1900s comic strip "Jimmy" by James Swinnerton. I can't be too mad at my subconscious for not having me dream about Elaine Joyce and/or Fannie Flagg, because I'm proud of it for coming up with such an obscure reference.

And they spelled "Viagra" with a "1"

I got a spam today that promised all orders would be shipped in "discrete packaging."

I certainly hope they're not going to put two different people's orders in the same box!

And don't forget to stand up during the 7th inning

On Sunday, I went to a San Diego Padres game by myself (I had originally planned to spend the day at the Comic-Con in San Diego, but nothing on the schedule of panels and screenings looked that interesting). To give me something to do during the game, I bought a scorecard from a vendor; I handed him a dollar, he handed me the scorecard, and then I walked away.

He then called after me, "Team rosters are on the piece of paper inside." Over my shoulder, while I was walking away, I kind of mumbled, "Thanks."

He continued, "Starting lineups will be on the scoreboard."

Yes, it's nice that he pointed out to me that, for my dollar, I not only got a scorecard, I also got a piece of paper listing the complete rosters of the two teams playing today, among other pieces of information; however, I wonder what led him to think that perhaps I had never been to a baseball game before in my life, and therefore was unaware that, at some point before the game starts, they announce the starting lineups and helpfully display the names on the scoreboard. (In fact, at Qualcomm Stadium, they put all nine names from each team on the scoreboard at once, while the PA announcer is still reading them off, which makes it very easy to fill out a scorecard.)

Comics watch

Both "Sherman's Lagoon" and "The Norm," which are next to each other on my Houston Chronicle.com "Custom Comics Page," used the word "fetish" today. In neither strip is it the punch line.

Big shoulders

I spent eight days in Chicago, participating in diverse activities including watching fireworks, writing and performing radio comedy, and turning off the alarm on an automatic weather radio. And I did indeed ride on the Metra Electric commuter rail line, repaired bridge and all. (It was obvious which bridge it was, because they were still working on it. But it didn't collapse while I was riding over it, so I guess they know what they're doing.)

Big shoulders

I spent eight days in Chicago, participating in diverse activities including watching fireworks, writing and performing radio comedy, and getting rained on. Not all at the same time. And I did indeed ride on the Metra Electric commuter rail line, repaired bridge and all. (It was obvious which bridge it was, because they were still working on it. But it didn't collapse while I was riding over it, so I guess they know what they're doing.)