Seen briefly along the boards of Calgary's Saddledome during the Flames-Lightning Stanley Cup final tonight (because it was on the side the regular TV cameras weren't looking at): an ad for Boston Pizza. "Chicago Pizza" would be appropriate, I think. So would "New York Pizza." Or "Boston Seafood." But since when is Boston known for its pizza?

It's obvious they think Americans would notice this, since the company operates in the U.S. as Boston's.

On July 11th, I'm going to be taking Amtrak from Bridgeport, Connecticut, to the Newark Airport station. I bought a ticket on Amtrak's web site for the 8:31 A.M. departure from Bridgeport (actually a generic "unreserved" ticket), but then when I booked my flights from L.A. to Newark, I ended up with a return flight for which the 8:31 train would get me to Newark way too early.

So I had to change my departure from Bridgeport to the 9:31 train, which is a train that requires reservations. I needed the services of an Amtrak agent to change the ticket, which meant taking a trip to the Amtrak station in Van Nuys.

And let me tell you, the woman at the station was obviously delighted to be dealing with something other than selling tickets for the Amtrak trains that actually serve Van Nuys, or having to tell people that they have to buy Metrolink commuter train tickets from the Metrolink vending machine. She gave me a handful of luggage tags, a system timetable, and the "Amtrak Vacations" travel planner.

Original comments...

Jeremy: But no phone number?!?!?

Jim: She's a little old for me, if that's what you're implying.

Brian: Wait... why are you gonna be in Bridgeport?

Jim: My cousin is getting married on the campus of Fairfield University. (I'm actually staying in Trumbull, at the Marriott there.)

And I'm going to be in New York for a few days before that. E-mail me or IM me sometime.

Brian: You make it sound like I HAVE your IM. ^_^

is your train from Bridgeport #2151, all reserved Acela train, arriving at Stamford at 7:59 AM? If so, it's usually late. ^_^

Jim: My IM is trainmanplus, via AIM or iChat.

I'm traveling on Sunday morning, and I'm pretty sure that train is weekdays only. It's also a little too early for me. I'll be on Train 195, which departs Bridgeport at 9:31 A.M. and arrives Newark Airport at 11:27 A.M. Then I have a flight back to L.A. at 2:00 P.M.

I swear, I'm not just jumping on the Tampa Bay Lightning bandwagon now that they're in the Stanley Cup finals. Would a bandwagon fan have gone to see them in 1992 in their original home, Expo Hall at the Florida State Fairgrounds? I think not.

Since it's now coming up on 10:00, and they were supposed to have called before 9:00 if I was going to be on the show, I guess I'm not going to be on "Super Millionaire" this time around. Also, I guess I should try to forget about that conversation I had in the car on the way back from San Diego yesterday on what I would do with $10 million.

"Super Millionaire" is probably going to be back in November, or maybe even the summer. I'll be trying whenever it comes back.

For the record, here are the five questions I qualified on...

Steps in baking a cherry pie, in usual order:
1. Put the dough into the pan
2. Bake the pie
3. Pour the cherry filling into the pie
4. Cover with the top crust

Organisms in order on the food chain, bottom to top:
1. Algae
2. Krill
3. Human
4. Cod

U.S. tourist attractions, west to east:
1. Faneuil Hall
2. Alcatraz
3. The Alamo
4. Grand Ole Opry

"Saturday Night Live" cast members in order they joined the cast, earliest first:
1. Joe Piscopo
2. Jane Curtin
3. Jim Belushi
4. Jimmy Fallon

Bands in order of their first U.S. record release, earliest first:
1. Puddle of Mudd
2. Green Day
3. Third Eye Blind
4. Nickelback

The answers are 1-3-4-2, 1-2-4-3, 2-3-4-1, 2-1-3-4, and 2-3-4-1. I think I got lucky on the fifth question, since I knew Green Day was first and Puddle of Mudd was last, but not necessarily the order of the other two. The fourth question had the most potential to trip someone up if they're thinking John Belushi and not Jim (which also makes the question harder, since both John Belushi and Jane Curtin were original cast members!).

Original comments...

Jeremy: I need to start reading this blog in the evening, because I keep forgetting to try to qualify for Millionaire. I don't think my brain writes memories very efficiently right after lunch.

Jim: And it's now too late to qualify for this go-around. ABC hasn't announced yet if and when "Super Millionaire" will come back. It's possible it might be back in July or August (but maybe not, what with all that Democratic convention fever, and then Olympic fever); it's possible it might not be back until November sweeps.

Qualifying for the May run of "Super Millionaire" started Monday evening. I was at my father's house in Tampa, but I still found a moment on both Monday and Tuesday to take the cordless phone to a quiet place and hear those magic words: "Hi. This is Regis."

No, seriously, the magic words were "I'm sorry. That answer is incorrect." But I was buoyed by the fact that both nights, I missed the fifth of five questions, better than I'd done on any of my eight attempts in February. The problem on Monday was that the question involved two books I had only a vague awareness of, and two books I had never even heard of. And the problem on Tuesday was that I only had a vague awareness of the movie "Jagged Edge," and its release date in particular. (I think I may have thought it was an Ashley Judd woman-in-trouble movie. But it's actually a Glenn Close woman-in-trouble movie.)

So it was back to L.A. on Wednesday, and there, in the bright sunlight of the 4:00 P.M. hour, I sat down in my favorite chair, with cordless phone, notebook, and pencil at the ready...

Long story short, I finally managed to qualify. I'm not going to post the questions, because everyone in America is now my personal competition in the battle to get one of 10 random phone calls, so the more I can do to help myself, the better. I'm already at a disadvantage because I wanted to select a tape date which wouldn't conflict with a baseball game I have tickets for on Sunday, so I went with the taping on Wednesday, May 19. The random call will come, if it happens, Monday the 17th, sometime between 6:00 and 9:00, which is perfect, since I don't work on Mondays and therefore don't have to be somewhere else at 8:00. (Yes, I know, but I don't have a cell phone.) I can just sleep with the phone next to my bed. Uh-oh, what if it loses its battery charge overnight? Now I'm worried.

Here's the new sarcastic phrase I would like to popularize: "You're a regular Smarty Jones, aren't you?" Please use it from now on whenever anyone pretentiously shows off their knowledge in your presence. (Yes, even if I do that.)

Original comments...

Jeremy: Why is Smarty Jones better than Smarty Pants?

Jim: Because Smarty Pants is not a Kentucky Derby-winning horse.

Jeremy: So your proposed sarcastic phrase is something I should say to a slow person?