I tried out for "Jeopardy!" today. As in 2002, 2003, and 2004, I passed the 50-question test, participated in a mock game, and will now wait by the phone for the next year or so to see if they call me to actually be a contestant on the show.

During the mock game, for which we were randomly divided into groups of three, I was standing between the guy who works as a pizza delivery driver so he can take care of his elderly mother, and the guy who came over to the U.S. from Czechoslovakia at the age of 6 and then went back to (what is now) Slovakia 15 years ago to start a modern dance troupe. How can I compete with that?

Then again, one of the people who passed the test at my audition in 2004 worked for the Uncle Milton ant farm company, and I was sure he was going to be called to be on the show, but I don't think he ever was.