1. Do not take the camera to the beach.
2. If you do take the camera to the beach, leave it in the car.
3. If you do take the camera out of the car, leave it in your bag the entire time.
4. If you do take the camera out of the bag, don't put it in the pocket of your shorts.
5. If you do put the camera in the pocket of your shorts, don't decide to walk down toward the water.
6. If you do decide to walk down toward the water, don't wear your $9.99 flip-flops.
7. If you do wear your $9.99 flip-flops, don't get close enough to the water that a wave might knock the flip-flops off your feet.
8. If a wave does knock the flip-flops off your feet, don't attempt to retrieve them as they float away in the turbulent water.
9. If you do attempt to retrieve them as they float away in the turbulent water, don't attempt to lunge at one of them in a way that knocks you off-balance enough to find yourself up to your neck in the Pacific Ocean.
10. If you do lunge at one of them in a way that knocks you off-balance enough to find yourself up to your neck in the Pacific Ocean -- well, your 2-month-old $200 camera is probably toast at that point, so do whatever you want.

But at least I got the flip-flops back.

No wonder they haven't called me to be on "Jeopardy!" yet. I guess they can tell.

The now-broken new camera and the box for the new new camera...

Labels: abject stupidity, beach, camera